Customer service and the missing bath tub, an e-mail exchange between Mr. Heeley and Webbs International Removals in Mallorca.

Mr. David Heeley and Webbs International Removals in Mallorca got into a remarkable e-mail exchange over the delicate issue of a bath.  It’s a graphic case study of customer service at work. Mr. Heeley had bought a bathroom suite from the UK and contracted Webbs to move it to the Balearic Islands. Seems simple, but oh no.  The suite, including two bathtubs, was delivered to the Mallorcian plumber in February. Six weeks later the plumber told Mr. Heeley that only one bathtub had arrived.  Mr. H contacted Webbs for an explanation. Then the fun began …

The e-mail exchange is far too long to relay in full, however, here is a flavour of it:

12 April: Bill Webb to DH

Regarding the ‘bath’, everything was delivered in Febuary.  We have delivered it, if it is now missing that is an issue between you and your people. Therefore please stop constantly phoning my crews.

Later that day: DH to Bill Webb

Thank you so much for your kind and understanding e-mail, it certainly underlines your company’s remarkable attitude to service. I have attempted to contact your driver Jamie only because you yourself suggested it. I am not interested in trying to blame you but merely solicit your help in trying to provide a route map for what has happened. I would have thought that that at least was comprehensible and that you would have empathised with my situation. As I may have mentioned, I am writing a book about my Mallorquin project, so hopefully many readers will soon be able to read of your company’s  unprecedented attitude to customer service.

Later still: Bill Webb to DH

May I thank you for your comments. My company has bent over for you backwards to accommodate your every wish. It is  clear that you do not trust my company, and that annoys me. Customer Service, you need Social Services, if you have not worked it out yet, your bath has been obviously liberated.

Even later: DH to Bill Webb

Imagine my joy and surprise to find I was the recipient of another of your charming missives. Our little chats have often been perforated with your shibboleth ‘this is Easy Jet not Lear jet’ but wonder if the analogy may be better made with Michael O’Leary’s renowned company, with which you share a similar commitment to customer satisfaction. My companies have always shared the same motto – ‘Vado susicvous mile’ – go the extra mile. I think the only difference between our respective outlooks is that you have chosen a shorter measure - an inch or a foot. Please rest assured that I will of course ensure that you are to be sent a copy of my book, like most things, at my expense.

13 April: Bill Webb to DH

I do appreciate your elegant words, mine unfortunately tend to come from basic commonsense. My mother was a lecturer, in Latin, both my sisters are Notary’s educated in France, my brother is an MD of a shipping company, so all the brains of the family have been used up when it came to me. When I have used the Lear jet or Easy terminology, it is purely to explain that the whole world does not revolve around you. Michael O’Leary has the best customer service in the world: Take it or leave it is his attitude. RyanAir: the most successful and profitable airline in Europe, Not bad!

Mr. Heely, you must take my word, it [your bath] was delivered, and you signed for it, end of story. You no doubt are a successful businessman, so smell the coffee, somebody has had it away! Believe me, my years in Mallorca operating a removal company have given me so much material for a Best Seller, I might just ask you to edit it!

That afternoon: DH to Bill Webb

I awoke this morning grubby but overjoyed to see that my in box was again the lucky recipient of another of your informative and instructive communications. Whilst I was edified to read of your family ancestry, I am not sure how germane it was to our discussion/dispute.

In short, being a gentleman, I was looking for the support of another gentleman, not least a fellow Englishman, in an alien world. Was I asking too much?  Your point re Ryan Air is correct as far as it goes but the point is that that company, whilst profitable, is universally despised. I am sure, that you, like me, would happily forego a little profit in the name of good customer relations, or have I again misjudged the ‘cut of your jib?’

I am potentially available for editing duties when your weighty tome is ready but unlike Mr O’Leary I don’t come cheap. Clearly, the aroma of my caffeine free cappuccino enables me to recognise the forlorn nature of my search but c’est la vie. I suspect I have exhausted our exchange but should you now be so concerned for my cleanliness, then I will of course keep you appraised of developments. Yours sweatily,

That evening: Bill Webb to DH

You’re Bonkers! Welcome to Mallorca, you will fit in well, hope you find that bath,

On sending this exchange to The Mover, Bill explained that he and Mr. Heeley were still on speaking terms and he had the prospect of being paid for editing duties in the future. He said that the adage from a TV add campaign of the 80s, “We won’t make a drama out of a crisis,” would be a good motto for Webbs, but as for its accuracy, he would leave us to judge.

The missing bath? The Mallorcian plumber finally conceded he had been the victim of a burglary and that several other items had walked too.  The burglars had gained entry and presumably exit via a small window.  The missing bath was huge, measuring 2m x 1m. Bill said that, as it wasn’t inflatable the question remains how said miscreants managed to extricate it, not least without the help of a forklift and flatbed carrier. It seems Bill was right all along.